just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
