But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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