First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
