I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize