Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
