you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
