Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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