Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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