Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
