So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Congratulations! We have a period
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