i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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