Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I want to fling myself into the sun
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
