So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Drunk walkin through police station. America
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
