Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize