The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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