Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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