I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
