yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
