2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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