I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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