Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
