so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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