i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
