So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you would pick up someone in the library
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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