glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
