How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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