I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
