im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
