and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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