you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
