one two three fourrrrnication!
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
