Plan B is the new Plan A
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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