She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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