If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
