I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
