Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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