The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
