sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
