just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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