so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
