They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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