Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
