There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
