I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
