What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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