yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
