Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
