I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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