So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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