Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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