and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize