exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
