why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Randomize