? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
