The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
