i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
