Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize