dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
