I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
