dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I am naked and annoyed.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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