This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
two words...techno handjob
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
