im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize