So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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